Thursday, November 24, 2011

So much to be thankful for

Today's Thanksgiving and I'm sitting in my apartment with my cat...with no turkey and dressing or the "fixings." I spent about an hour this morning (at work) feeling sorry for myself, that it looked like I would be spending Thanksgiving "alone." After my hour long pity party, I put my big girl panties on and started looking at my life (in between the many customers CVS had today LOL) and realized that what in the heck was I feeling sorry for myself for?! No, I wasn't having a traditional Thanksgiving. There was no family waiting at my house for us to eat a meal together (though I shouldn't say that as I think of my Ellie -my cat, as family LOL.) I was working an 8 hour shift on the register at CVS, waiting on many people that were less than gracious towards me and the fact that I was working while they had the day off and were on their way to spend time with family and friends. But you know what? I have SO much to be thankful bare with me as I list all the things I'm blessed with. They may not seem like blessings to everyone, but they do to me.

  • I have a job

  • I have a kitty that thinks I'm the world (hey that matters after a bad day at work)

  • I have family that loves me even though we don't live close to each other

  • I have a husband, that even though we aren't living together right now, loves me and is willing to work on our relationship

  • I have amazing friends

  • I have a hobby that allows me to make extra money while doing what I love

  • I have good health ...allow me to explain that further. I have fibromyalgia which is not the most fun thing in the world to have, but for the most part, it's managed very well and interferes with my daily life only a little. I have asthma that is managed very well as is the case with my allergies. There are a lot of people that are a lot worse off than I am health wise.

  • I have an apartment that I absolutely adore and a landlord that is so very understanding and gracious in working out the rent with me when things get tight.

  • I have customers that come in to the store and stop to say hi to me specifically, because while we never see each other outside of the store, we have developed a relationship that matters.

  • I have good health insurance that allows my health issues to be dealt with, including my depression.

  • Going back to my friends, I have friends that allow me to be me, which is amazing to me. I was always the kid that didn't fit in and now I feel like I while I may not be like everyone else, at least most people love me for who I am.

I could go on and on about everything I'm thankful for. I guess I look at my life and think, "no, it's not perfect....but damn I have it good." Yes, I have financial struggles (who doesn't in this economy) but some how it always seems to work out. I'm amazed everyday at the blessings I have. The computer I'm using right laptop crashed and I was worried as I run my business basically through the Internet...within three days, I had a replacement computer, monitor and was up and running again, thanks to friends and my husband.

I guess I'm feeling a little "preachy" right now about the way people complain about their lives. We all have hardships. There are days I wake up and the pain makes me want to crawl back into bed, but I push on because I know that if I make myself get up and don't give it, I'll feel better after a hot shower and moving around. Yes, so many people have it much harder than I do, I know that. One of my best friends is dealing with some family issues that I can't even imagine having to live through, another friend passed away recently and her husband must be heart broken (we all miss her.) So when I feel "poor me" I think about all the things that could be worse and all the things that are so amazing.

A lot has happened in my life in 2011. A lot of really tough things, things I wasn't sure I could survive through. But I did survive and I'm stronger now and know that when the next obstacle comes (as it will) while it'll be difficult, it will not be impossible.

I don't love my life everyday, but am thankful for it regardless.

One of the things that made me stop and think about being thankful is I saw my "other" children today. Long story short, I had a friend that had three little ones that I fell in love with. While I'm not friends with her anymore, I still love her babies like they were mine. As I walked up to my place today after work I heard them yell for me (they were at their Papaw's just two doors down from me) and came running to see me. It made me realize that they will always love me and they know I'll always love them. It made my heart swell with happiness and love. Another thing is I have a very strained relationship with my mother, but I called to wish her and my step dad a happy Thanksgiving. She sounded happy to hear from me. That made me feel good. Even though our relationship isn't the best, I know she loves me and I could hear that in her voice today.

So now that I've babbled about all that, I guess my point is...we all have trials and troubles, but if we look to our blessings we can see what a good life we do have. Life is what we make it, not what it makes us.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. And be thankful EVERYDAY, not just on Thanksgiving!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm late on this, but I wish I would have known. Maybe we could have gotten together.
I get down when I'm by myself for the holidays. Seems to be frequent. Hubbys family don't have much to do with us and my parents have been going else where for the holidays.

You do have a lot to be thankful for :)